Oh, all I want for Christmas is a smaller set of breasts:
Forget about the candy canes, the eggnog and the rest.
Hey Santa, if you're listening then let me really stress,
I mean it when I say I need to 'get this off my chest'!!!

I 'member how I used to play in mother's cast-off clothes;
The evening dress, the high heels and the baggy pantyhose.
I'd stuff my top with kleenex 'til the bodice hit my nose:
Gee, whoda thunk I'd end up with a pair bigger than those?!?!?!

When older, I tried basketball but I'd just end up sore.
I'd bounce the ball across the court but both my breasts bounced more!
And golf was just a waste of time-I seldom had a score:
My boobs just checked my swing before I even could yell 'Fore!'

Now, I can hear you laughing but you really have no clue,
Just what it's like to jump rope and end up all black and blue!
I'd wear the tightest bra I could, but what's a girl to do?
No matter how I'd bind 'em they just grew and grew and GREW.

Yes, Dolly with her triple D's does really take the prize,
But I must say I measure up when it comes down to size!
Some gals might sigh in jealousy (or so I do surmise),
But all I want is for a guy to look me in the EYES!

So Santa if you're out there, I must fervently insist,
That you please note the fact that there's just one thing on my list.
I'll leave you milk and cookies (and I'll even leave a Fifth).
I swear if you'll just help me that my ta-ta's won't be missed!

Oh, all I want for Christmas is a smaller set of breasts-
Don't give me other presents for I will not be impressed.
I am sincerely hoping that by now you've more than guessed:
I'd rather let some other woman be so doubly blessed!